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Most lesbians have a coming of age story about how they survived such a woman. Then wait for him to mess up big. Or maybe we are just like everyone else, desperately looking everywhere for love. Do not raise the issue of multi-speed vibrators. It broke my heart to see her sobbing.

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So, invariably, at the average lesbian gathering, the conversation makes its way round to the trauma the dyke heart endures, the collective agony of desiring the almost gay. Yes, we crack mean jokes about it — who wants to invest in a relationship with a LUG? It was definitely a bit of a trip to lie naked with these women by night and be ignored by them in the light of day. And while I am the first to ask for the gory details from other women, I am the last to fess up to the rapturous, but futile years I spent chasing women who identified as straight. Most lesbians have a coming of age story about how they survived such a woman.

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Reinforce how she deserves so much better. Only now I know the limitations of such insanities. Topics Relationships Weekend magazine gay special. Ahead of the Guardian Weekend magazine gay issue, out Saturday 21 April, we pay tribute to the best gay rights protesting placards. Plus, she was beginning to tire of the clandestine nature of our relationship.

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